Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The Watchful Eye

My first yoga teacher was an extremely conservative catholic lady. Celibate (although married) and very resistant to the notion of reincarnation or metempsychosis, she loved quoting the bible all the time, and I resisted everything she said. One of her favourite extracts from the book was the heeding, ‘pray and watch’. I realize now I’ve been forgetting the second half of that advice when I really shouldn’t.

Last night I watched ‘The Secret’ again. I like to get my fix every now and then, because living in Society you inevitably get caught in the victim game more often than it’s healthy, and attitude and mood, the two molds in which our Future is shaped, need constant washing. And ‘The Secret’ is my favourite practice in Spiritual Hygiene.

As I whispered to myself my favourite quotes from the movie together with the stars, I realized how devastating it was for me to give up São Paulo for the next phase in the story of my life. São Paulo means to me so much more than two years. It was liberation, emancipation, soul retrieval and deliverance from everything that ever made me stuck. It was an actual rebirth, because I only began to feel alive and glad for that when I moved to there. And to move on to where I long to be, with my sweetheart, I needed to sacrifice that. Let go of that phase of my life, in order to embrace the new.

Truth is, I didn’t consider that this would have such a bad consequence, such a high price. One day after leaving São Paulo, my Basic Self—that part of us that reacts to change unexpectedly, that clings to safety devices and wrecks havoc when we take a step without its consent—attracted me a car accident. From there, things naturally spiral downwards, until you realize you got taken on the downhill speeding sleigh ride. Seven days in the hospital, life back in the Rio de Janeiro suburbs, misunderstandings with a translation client and lots of tiny bits of the worst of life, kept attracting more of the bad stuff, because every now and then you inevitably go back to conditional thinking—you believe you are what you see around you, dooming yourself to experience more and more of that all the time. You are on an unlucky streak. Until you stop, get a good cosmic shove; renovate your attitude and mood, and hop on your thoughts again, guiding them according to how they feel, and decide where you want to be taken.

The evil eye may get the best of you on occasion, but even worse over the course of events is having the good eye shut.

Pray and watch.