From my balcony tonight I see many windows lit up just before Midnight. They weren't here last night. Or any night since August 1st. Vacationers are back to Madrid, and that probably means the "course year", as they call it here the year beginning in Autumn instead of Winter, will begin soon. Because Summer's kinda over in the Society I live in, and because it's been long since I last posted to my blog, I suppose it's time I wrote some.
I have enjoyed this Summer in many ways. Found a friend in a dog, burnt in the Sun King's fire a bunch of attachments to low-self-worth games I played and even-lower-self-worth communities I used to participate in, and blew the ashes to the farthest travelling wind. The cleared way brought me new blessings, especially a new hot Divination tool (Brian Froud and Jesa MacBeth's "Faeries' Oracle"), musical headway, and the German language. Each of these three alone, Music, a foreign language and the Faeries, are in their own right marvellous door-openers, but probably the best achievement this year was cooling down (despite the oppressive 95ºF heat), opening my eyes and letting go of the guilt to enjoy the first time in my life I am unemployed and not scared of being kicked from the flat, humiliated before family, abused by anybody or pressured to look successful to the neighbourhood. I have wondered many times throughout this Summer if I am given the blessing of a second youth to rethink my goals in life.
I've started working with a life coach. We're still in the very beginning, and already much shit related to my round-shape-forced-to-be-square days has surfaced, leaving me a bit frozen, too worried of slipping into a downward self-pity spiral, but just the questions he asks me and his invitations to set goals, define core values and plan strategies are very positively triggering.
I may not have been writing much, I may not even have moving stories to tell just yet--but the Storm keeps brewing, and I've been just fooling around with it.
It's my job, after all.
I have enjoyed this Summer in many ways. Found a friend in a dog, burnt in the Sun King's fire a bunch of attachments to low-self-worth games I played and even-lower-self-worth communities I used to participate in, and blew the ashes to the farthest travelling wind. The cleared way brought me new blessings, especially a new hot Divination tool (Brian Froud and Jesa MacBeth's "Faeries' Oracle"), musical headway, and the German language. Each of these three alone, Music, a foreign language and the Faeries, are in their own right marvellous door-openers, but probably the best achievement this year was cooling down (despite the oppressive 95ºF heat), opening my eyes and letting go of the guilt to enjoy the first time in my life I am unemployed and not scared of being kicked from the flat, humiliated before family, abused by anybody or pressured to look successful to the neighbourhood. I have wondered many times throughout this Summer if I am given the blessing of a second youth to rethink my goals in life.
I've started working with a life coach. We're still in the very beginning, and already much shit related to my round-shape-forced-to-be-square days has surfaced, leaving me a bit frozen, too worried of slipping into a downward self-pity spiral, but just the questions he asks me and his invitations to set goals, define core values and plan strategies are very positively triggering.
I may not have been writing much, I may not even have moving stories to tell just yet--but the Storm keeps brewing, and I've been just fooling around with it.
It's my job, after all.
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