Friday, April 13, 2012


As part of the current exploration of my talents, I have taken it on myself to explore the aspect of my abilities I called Magic. I had read extensively on the subject throughout my teens and early adulthood, but never found consensus or a single, universal definition for the M-word, or even a recurring description for what a magic operator actually does. But I most probably knew what I meant when I decided to call my gift "Magic".

Throughout the coursebook, words like "shapeshifter" and "divine" showed up a lot on my notes, and dreams and travelling are trending topics in all parts of the book. When I had to match talent profiles from a list the author provided to me, I noticed several very real talents I knew I had were not there. I recalled how many times over I changed scenery following an inner call, how deeply free I really am to refuse letting anybody else define me, my resiliency and tendency to bob back up to the surface anytime I am pushed to the depth of waters, my undeniable ability to reinvent myself with sincere Passion.

I swear I have magical powers. I have a magical brush and paint to paint doors where there are only walls, and to repaint my surroundings in a way that is more functional, pleasing and appropriate to me. I have a magic veil to alter the perception of my peers. I have a magic thread that leads me out of the Labyrinth so I have no fear of walking in to the core and so that I never ever get lost. I have a magical compass that always shows where my heart's desire is. I have magical wings to fly everywhere, and soar above too many things everybody else cannot even imagine are but an option within a wide range to choose from. I have a magical mirror that in one gaze shows me the truth about myself. And a magical book full of magical formulae, and magical glasses, and a magical pen with magical ink, and a magical wand to boot.

I shift shape, read minds, see in the Future, phase out of alien bulshit I did not sign up for with incredible ease and sense of dignity. I speak the simple language of the primitive cuss in me that connects me to Timelessness and Infinite Wisdom, and I read the arcane signs of the Ancient Ones who left so many gifts and inspiration behind. I realise the Invisible, and stalk It, follow It, make friends with It, learn from It. I seek the unalienable truth. I cast spells, I purify endlessly, I focus, I create, I change, I make things happen. And, of course, I manipulate time. I know, I dare, I will, I keep silent. All the fucking time.

Much of this mage work is learned and extensively trained, and even bears a lot more improvement, but that does not make me less talented at all. Quite on the contrary, for one of the aspects of real talent is pleasure and the desire for more proficiency. I can guarantee I will not get enough of perfecting this ever.