Thursday, December 07, 2006

Moon Lodge Days

Since my EEP returned to his country, I have been reading Jamie Sams’ Sacred Path Cards every day. At first, the card that showed most often was the Moon Lodge, meaning retirement. Funny (and disturbing) how these cards are always on target for me.

All the retirement I have been doing lately has taught me a lot. Since I moved to São Paulo almost two years ago, I had been finding ways to avoid retirement and loneliness. In this restless and 24-7 metropolis, there is always something to do, somewhere to explore, some goal to meet; which is the radical opposite of my old life in Rio, where I used to waste all my free time (all my time, really) immersed in the Internet and books in order to fill the scandalous vacancy of meaning, affection, activity and magic. But when arriving in São Paulo, I was for the first time ever all by myself, living all alone, and didn’t want to face the pain of radical loneliness, so until this month I had never spent more than four hours all by myself at home. I was always outside, in a workshop, party, lan-house, performance, course, event, lecture, poetry slam or, well, a Stupid Day Job.

But lately, more forced by need than inspired by the Moon Lodge card to be honest, I have been spending more time with my Self, honing my skills and discovering new horizons, inner and outer. I am learning new teaching tools and learning techniques for my new breadwinning project, teaching English as a Foreign Language one to one; also, I am studying the fiddle really hard, as I really want to pass the audition for the intermediate level next month/year; and I am back to training Scrying, which like most wannabe scryers, I dumped a couple of days after noticing the first little progress, back in ‘03.

My power animal is the Butterfly. For a long time now, I have been consciously burying and rebirthing myself several times, and this has been another moment for the caterpillar to cocoon, getting ready for the next big leap, across the Atlantic and over the Equator.