Monday, December 17, 2007

The Darkest Hour

I'm for the first time in my life experiencing the gradual withering of Nature. I can see a long shadow projected on the ground at noon, most trees have no leaves anymore, it sleeted just the other day, peaches have disappeared from the grocery. It's a bit strange to witness all this without creating a whole ritual with a group, or chanting invocations and prayers. Just letting Nature do Its work. Winter, and its brand new order, finally begin to finds its way to my life.

The Light shows signs of wanting to be born again, yeah, though the ice is still on the way. On Thursday, I attended a panel about Homossexuality and Religion in a local university. One of the participants represented Wicca. I felt much more connected to what most of the catholics said, and didn't really feel represented in the Wiccan talk, so I decided to take a chance at the end of the event when everybody was done speaking (Spaniard style, I'd say) to mention that contrary to the idea the Wiccan on stage gave, Pagan traditions are very much community-oriented and, yes, Love is also paramount on my Path. I think I got to actually close the night when I quote Doreen Valiente's bit of the Charge: "All acts of love and pleasure are my rituals". I just had to add my two cents, that's me. Nevertheless, I got the contacts of the speaker and am still to get in touch with him.

On Saturday night, Lady Bartlett hosted the Faerie Heart Circle. I was all excited for it, left my gay meditation group early to attend it, but in the end, I let shame, guilt and the boyfriend all together ruin the experience for me. The group is to meet again. I'll hope I know better next time.

The Osho Zen Tarot I bought on finally arrived and I started playing with it this weekend. I'm doing the card-a-day thing till I light up all the symbols in there and assimilate the whole vision behind that deck, which by the way is SO beautiful. I first used that deck in an Osho meditations workshop I got some five years ago in Rio. Now I finally own it.

So, I could bet that I am now just before the break of Dawn. Sometime soon, the Sun will rise again and the Light will be back. Meanwhile, I coccoon and hold the vision.