Sunday, January 22, 2017

A prayer for commitment

It's been almost exactly 10 years since I stopped working my penmanship magic round here. I admit I forgot what I wrote about, but the process itself is still very much alive in my memory: what started as a rant inevitably led to an unexpected insight, or gradually shifted vibration during the writing and ascended towards a very inspiring revelation, with an experience of upliftment that would be felt by all my loyal readers on too. Real. Very, very good days.

But I forsook my magic. I betrayed it, just like the last two men I've loved these past ten years have betrayed me. Why? Because just like they were enticed and seduced by other men, I was lured away from my power, my nature and my Truth. Consistenly, I have let myself lose faith and interest in my own process and worthiness, to gain acceptance, harmony in relationship and approval. Bad idea, immaturity and a terrible investment, but alas, I didn't know better then.

I am now in the middle of a small life makeover (again). I start a new job in March, my fickle social circle is changing again, I am finally, mentally letting go of my abusive ex-boyfriend that has been my worst addiction ever. Writing myself through the vicissitudes will help me comfort myself, shine my light, recount on the go, digest, recollect, take it in stride. Make magic. Live in clarity and passion. The way I used to. The way we all should.

Please, blog, let me commit to you again, like I once did and like nobody else has ever committed to me.