Function of Time #5: Energy

Before rythmn comes Energy.

It took me a while to realise that. I fell prey to my old fantasy of time shortage for a long time. I fret over age, I resented time-consuming responsibilities, I cut down on comfort, I walked the cutting edge. All to save time I realise now I have never even used. Now I have decided to let go of this imaginary fear, and go back to 9-to-6'ing.

It sucks for a large part, but I also benefit a lot from it: a stable income will allow me to explore in depth aspects of my Passion, a regular routine will give me structure and support for leaping and launching rockets of desire, building a career will let me reward those who help me and light up my fuse. And more.

The other side to that is that it really sucked up most of my stamina in this beginning. I work in a well-concealed hide-out way up North everyday, and after getting home from the long ride with connections I felt exhausted and wanted little more than having dinner and collapsing in bed to feel less sleepy at the office the next day.

But tonight the feeling has changed. Maybe it's just temporary excitement about my German class beginning tomorrow in the evening after work, but I'm really eager to use my evenings now. Way more than in my old life, before I got back to day-jobbing. I want to get back to making Music, be finally serious with Mandarin, astral-travel, queer-tango, cook. And go back to blogging about The Fine Art of Time Manipulation.

I have realised this job has energised me. And if I have Energy, I have plenty of Time. In that feeling, I am Eternity.

All I have to do now is feel the beat, and put a natural rythmn to this song. I'm sorry I missed this important one beat and did not wish a merry Equinox to all my friends all over the World this season. Many blessings of Light and Dark, of up and downbeat. Life would be terribly boring and meaningless without them.

Mother Monster

I am no fan of Lady GaGa. Pretty much everything I've seen by her so far is boring and dull at best, and just plain sick on average. I have refused to talk or write about her especially here on my blog because in this crazy time in which we live everything is advertising, and in our ultimate vibrational reality whatever we focus on manifests. But this morning I saw a video that really got to me, and spoken so much to me that my feelings are still confused.

It is called "Born This Way". In a nutshell, it is the average parade of emaciation, androginy, and vigorous choreography that is too half-cocked to show full nakedness and real, natural sexuality. But this is not your average MTV video. Maybe I am too sensitive at this point, but the symbolism and references she presents this time run too deep not to heed the call of an artist not used to knowing what she is talking about.

In the creation myth at the very beginning, she tells of the Eternal Mother hovering the Multiverse, and giving birth to Divine Twins, one that is perfect liberty and the other being protective evil. This rang too deep a bell within me not to let the whole song (with a very positive message, for a drastic and welcome change) get to me. At the same time, she presents herself, a celebrity and brand-name accused of enormous vileness and celebrated as the redeemer of the oppressed, as not just beyond good and evil, but the creatrix of both. She used a myth older than Time and a fundamental truth of the deepest human nature and origin to legitimate and consolidate her music-selling business with astounding success and unbelievable coldness.

Yes, I am torn. Just like the Mother Monster of the video.

Lady GaGa has always been monstruous. The dance number on blood that got her international attention got people doubting she would be able to keep up with the extreme appeal, and the meat dress on the cover of Rolling Stone freaked the shit outta vegetarian me, personally. The crippled woman dance on one of her videos haunted me for days after I watched it. Her sex appeal is not just violent, it's anti-sexy and repressive in many ways. Far beyond music, her career is being repulsive. This video is not different. She's the usual monster. But she's Mother Monster this time. She is, to effect, the Mother Monster protrayed on the video, and she is not ashamed of it. Why should she be?

Why should we all be ashamed?

This piece has a real message, and I got it. And I agree with it. And it makes my spirit fly.

But the visuals are still repulsive.

Image: The Sheela-na-Gig, from http://www.hohochiheaven.co.uk/.

Breath and Water

I know some very interesting things, and I keep learning the Craft of the Wise in new forms, and new ways. Learning comes from many places. The Path my feet keep coming back to has made me pretty much a water witch, and breathwork has been a discipline I have been a little constantly, a little in-and-out exploring. In phases like this, I feel like I know a lot.

I know how to realign with Source, cleanse, store life-force, restore my Being and reenergise using my breath. I know how to unbind, heal my Self, let go and invite the Light using water. I know how to breathe Light into water, and make some serious magic. Light-heart-edly.

I keep learning.

Image from Pavel Melnikov's website.

The Water Pentacle

We are stars on Earth, sang many mystical poets in many different languages and times. But throughout life, and the immersion in a culture that does not really support individual stardom, we were trained to stifle the inner fireworks and shy away from shedding our Light. The poets kept singing though, inspiring us to be naturally bright and help make the world even more beautiful and interesting with our unique gifts and joy in Being, but at some point we forget how. For good. And some of these poets devise pathways and songs to help us remember and reawaken. And shine on.

Victor Anderson taught the Copper Decagram to several generations of witches until his death ten years ago. Even though it is not really known whether he devised them himself or learned from somebody else, the Iron and Pearl Pentacles have been inspiring people all over the world to ignite the inner fires and shine their unique light on the inner and outer worlds.

Abraham, the collective of non-physical teachers translated by Esther Hicks, teaches in actuality little more than the divine nature of us all, gut-feeling wisdom and this marvellous Stream of Well-Being we are all rolling with. This Stream, the stuff of life itself, is God, the Source, the one and only light that shines in and through all stars of the Universe, that soothes and sweeps us away from wisdom to even more wisdom, from plenitude to enhanced plenitude. From love back to love again.

Based on both bodies of teachings, I have devised my own “third pentacle”, as one disciple of Anderson calls the systems created after his Iron and Pearl Pentacles, based on the parallels I have found between his teachings and those of Abraham. Inspired by Abraham’s marvellous metaphor of life as a stream, where “nothing you really want is upstream”, I have called it the Water Pentacle. In my personal practice, it has become a wonderful and actually divine tool for awareness and connection with the divinity present in life, in my own Self, in the present moment.

Just like the experience of the Iron and Pearl Pentacles were taught to me by more than one teacher, with the Water Pentacle, you can run and call the points as you lay as a starfish in two ways (among countless others): round and through.

On your head is the point of Expansion. Expansion represents here the meaning of life itself. It is the blossom and fructifying of Sex and Love, and the full realisation of the being here in physical manifestation, on the Leading Edge of Thought, in this glorious earthly reality where we experience contrast and shock, make choices, decide, shoot rockets of desire, refine our feelings, attract what is like to us, and ultimately help the Universe expand.

On your left hand, the point representing The Source shines. The Source is really the place from which we all come, but never got disconnected. It is in every single aspect of you. In your dominant and subtle intents, in the intents of each cell of your body, and your shared intent as community. From the Source’s perspective, all intents are equally worthy, and all is well. The Source is undeniable; and for you are Source Energy, The Source is YOU. It is what witches would call God Herself, in whom we live, move and have our being. “From Her all things emerge, and unto Her all things return”. She is the reason why we are here, because our desires are Hers, and through them She experiences Herself, expands and grows in love and beauty.

On your left foot, you have your point of Guidance. Guidance is the resilient, persistent and very reliable voice of inner Wisdom that (no matter how shunned, repressed and ignored) tells you how far from the Source you are or not. It comes in the form of Passion, raw gut feelings and all other emotions. Your Guidance is Wisdom, it will never fail you, because it is your gut, your in-tuition, your proof of connection to God, and only it can reveal how stagnant, flowing or rotten the Water from your Star is. Nobody else.

On your right foot is the point of Becoming. As you awaken and become aware of Source, let yourself expand with it by desiring and following the inner Guidance wherever It leads you, you learn to take Pride in who you are, and become something more than what you were. Becoming is actually one of the very few real Laws of the Universe, and there is no escaping from it without paying more than one can afford.

On your right hand stands Allowing. Allowing is the ultimate Power we have in this life, and its our absolutely natural and default Nature. It is giving up on all lies and resistance against the Stream, holding on to useless attachments and complexes, and finally saying YES to the healing and exciting ride on divine waters. It takes us to places, because we have Become something else through alignment with Source, awareness of our Guidance and commitment to Expansion. If this is not Liberty, I do not know what is.

Around the Water Pentacle you have a way of Alignment motivated by willpower and intent, whereas upon moving through It you realise the points from a slightly different perspective, which enriches the realisations you had as you ran around the star: you have the support, love, confirmation and nurturing every time.

Expansion is the reason why we are all here. We are evolving perfection, not bored, just exercising the thrill and glorious joy that lust and desire give us.

We expand by Becoming. Something more, something else, something that has no need to fit in descriptions or pre-conceived concepts. It’s one of the most freeing experiences we have, and this is why it is so empowering and central in a well-lived life.

The Source becomes more through our own Becoming, and It is always backing us, and calling us back to It. Our existence is Its proof, our Expansion is all It expects, our Becoming is Its joy. It is just that simple.

Allowing is the experience of moving on from The Source and simultaneously going back to It. Allowing is not working hard to modify circumstances, follow rules and play roles. It is not giving others parts of the Self. It is not exercising force, either. It is going with the flow and trusting the Stream, with grace, freedom and great dignity.

All along the way, Guidance will keep you on track. It will never let go of you, especially if you let go of oars, shame, guilt, vanity and need for control. And the opinions, experience and judgements of somebody else. Only you know what is good and appropriate for you, and this is the promise from The Source. The way you feel, in your gut, is just what you need in order to tell if it is really on or off. If you are heading downstream or paddling upstream.

There are infinite different ways to experience the Water Pentacle. Some I have also been using other than Starfish energy work are journaling, dreaming, creative writing, singing, drumming and dance. Get acquainted with it the way it calls you to, and own the experience itself. Let everything else go back to The Source.

In the end, this Water Pentacle is little more than a sophisticated idea, and ideas are as good as this. Take it into consideration if possible, exercise if suitable, celebrate if desired, discard if preferred, live it out if you must, pass it forward if you will. But do not claim anybody own a very basic truth of our existence. Abraham, Victor, or me. Or you. We are all, absolutely all of us, Stars on Earth.

If you are interested in the Iron and Pearl Pentacles, check veedub’s DustBunny Big Damn Handout, or her articles on her personal website. Obviously you can also just google them up. If you are curious about the Teachings of Abraham, the Hickses have free introductory material available on their website. Feel free to search for Abraham-Hicks on Youtube, too. Watching Esther doing it live is one of the most thrilling things I have ever seen.

Explore. And flow on.

New Year Resolution '11

Heeding the Music
That guides me around
I loosen, unshackle,
and lift off the ground

As the beat won't stop
I'll flow and I'll rock
I'll stomp and repeat
And follow the beat
And dance on ad lib
And never have fear

And if it's down tempo
I vow to sway and remain
Focused on basic routines
Serene, no rushing the train

As the beat won't stop
I'll flow and I'll rock
I'll stomp and repeat
And follow the beat
And dance on ad lib
And never have fear

And above all the casting
Of spells, binds and charms
I offer undivided attention
to the song of my heart

As the beat won't stop
I'll flow and I'll rock
I'll stomp and repeat
And follow the beat
And dance on ad lib
And never have fear

Tree

My Autumn this year was very creative, as I knew it would be after a Spring of plowing and sowing and a Summer of expansion and celebration. Harvest was marvellous, and I can barely believe I've manifested for myself such amazing opportunities. My German teacher this year is awesome, very experient and very, very good. I'm always inspired in the class, and I learn from her not just a lot of German, but also how to be a better language teacher. I've found myself a Queer tango group here in Madrid, and have become a decent queer tanguero, pretty skilled in both roles, leader and follower. I'm so proud of my musical skills, that everytime I sit to improvise on the keys, or vocalise a little bit, or burst out in song, I feel shocked. And I haven't been drifting and bouncing around, looking for affection and sympathy, anymore. I've built a romance to remember in Italy earlier this month. I'm mature.

I've been away from my studies and training in the Craft of the Wise, though. My Craft is definetely still with me, and is very much a second nature, which I'm thankful for, but with so much going on, a strong desire to simplify in order to see clearly, and a heightened sense of responsibility in this advanced stage of my Saturn's Return, I was not willing to overburden myself with more. The Craft knows how to lurk in the shadows (always present!) before coming back to the spotlight.

I feel it's time to come back, though. Before the late sunrise in this shortest day of the year, I woke up several times with vivid and intense dreams and messages from the Otherworld. By now, almost time for the earliest sunset I'll see in a year, I've got only memories of strange characters and a clear message to go back to the Ways of the Land. I know what I will be busy with this Winter instead.

It's Midwinter today, and I had plan to enjoy the following many days off work and school to bask in my very fresh Music gift. But I guess I will also dedicate to taking small, baby steps back to the Old Ways my feet know well. I'm a seasoned witch, and a creative being in a personal zenith. Nothing has ever been out of reach, but with a tree of my nature the branches stem and move a long way from the trunk. I'll navigate my personal Tree of Life this coming season, and recount, revisit, retrieve, reground. And learn more. And keep growing. And move on.

Sincerity let me will. Trust made me dare. Simplicity helped me know. Wisdom led me to keep silent. Now I resolve to know myself in all my parts, so that I'm ready when the time to blossom comes around once again.

Image: Spiral tree from Seattle Metal Craft.

Fountain of Youth

2010. What a Summer. I feel like my real life began just now.

Berlin was everything I always wanted to experience: daily dates with highly interesting men, easy and reliable friendships, flaneuring, bike riding, tango, music and a little bit of Witchcraft, all very well-balanced. Cologne was hawt: the coolest Pride ever, a handsome Summer affair, kinky stickers, tight underwear moments shared with a semi-stranger. Swansea was a melodic composition of music, silence, scandal and nothing-left-to-say. São Paulo was my fix and my eventual realisation that I have changed: silly social situations that offered very little, deep conversations on a new level with old friends, the clear paradox of loneliness in companionship and all it can teach about yourself and your needs. And Rio was all the crucible I resolved to use to begin life anew, and then some.

Today, in the last week of this super-magical and super-intense Summer, I've had the first professional reading in many years. An Obi lady, at a Umbanda house with a terrible vibe and lots of Catholic-Santería synchretic images, told me too many things about myself, my spiritual configuration, Water deities that patronise me, my past and my future. And the waterfall of memories, insight and resolutions that followed helped empower me again, after such a long time without proper grounding.

I discovered so much. When she told me that at the age of about 3 I was already leaving apart from my parents, and at the age of 9 I was already a lonely adult, I realised everything I missed my whole life: learning about relationships, learning to love and accept other people's emotions in a constructive way, music, adventures, playfulness. She said, "you were already an adult". And later on she insisted with me that I was young. In fact, she began the reading with the words, "you're still very young". And together with that the memories of bosses and lovers accusing me of being childish and immature cascaded in my mind. But with the new information of myself, shared with me with an astounding serenity, instead of feeling overwhelmed I was able to connect the dots and realise the Red Thread of my life. I haven't learned the mystery of Age in practice yet. This was priceless, even though the reading was very expensive.

I stayed the whole day with the hurt feeling and the understanding that my inner child needs attention, companionship and space to be an actual child. My inner child still begs to be taken care of, shown things about Self and others, played with, taken out to play. I need emotional education, like most of humankind. And I'm determined to provide myself with all I need, especially healing.

I've already journeyed to meet with my Inner Child tonight. What I learned was much and still being processed, but I already look different in the mirror. Mirror work is part of the tasks assigned by the reader, and I know I need it. The basics of Time Manipulation have it that to understand that when I know the way and am determined, Time's on my side.

Watch me as I grow younger now.

Image: Boto, a river dolphin from the Amazon.

Weitertrauen

After succeeding in all examinations at school and returning from my 2 days in Barcelona, I've spent quite a few days preparing Germany. I am going to hit a major personal landmark by getting there. The German language was my final fantasy of capricious youth before diving head-first into full adulthood and strict responsibility for my life, my decisions and my chronic thought patterns. I embraced the tongue of poets and thinkers like a worthy lover, like there was no tomorrow, and I allowed in all emotions, vistas, lore and possibilities it encompassed. Two years later, one "next little step" after another, I've managed to find myself a two-week inmersion in one of the most vibrant cities in the West. Berlin. And the hottest Pride parade in Europe to boot. Köln.

And I want to be ready if this most huge baby step unfolds and makes for another. I will just keep saying Yes.

Image: me, loving life in Parc de la Ciutatela, one week ago in Barcelona.