The Dark

I need urgent En-light-enment. For the past months, I've been growing more and more serious and stuck, to the point of shifting from a luminous person to a boring and grumbling not-by-choice hermit. I gained eighteen pounds/eight kilograms, lost my characteristic smirk and can't enjoy the company of people anymore.

I have been extremely self-demanding, unforgiving and obsessive with little routines, singing and the Lavender Society. My stuttering is out of control most of the times. Also, as usual with pathological seriousness and fake maturity, I am feeling leery and unable to concentrate.

I need advice. Or rather, the opposite of it, whatever it is.