Monday, May 19, 2008

Reaching Out

Over the past year, in the many readings Diane has gifted me with the card World Tree of her Celtic divination set has appeared the most. The main meaning, at least for my readings, is healing, freeing and/or integration through Communication, and lately I've finally begun manifesting that.

After some good months of resistance, last Sunday I've given in to Seán's insistance of me joining I certainly won't travel anytime soon to a place where I don't already have a couch to surf, nor do I plan to play host to strangers at this point of my life, and frankly that is what was on my mind about that website. But after a weekend of sheer boredom and violent feelings of isolation, not to mention dullness in the Heroes game in, I signed up and made myself officially available for "coffee or drink" in Madrid.

On Thursday, Madrid's patron saint, San Isidro, had his party. Couchsurfing Madrileans (and those hanging around back then) organised a tortilla picnic in Pradera de San Isidro. It was really cool, totally my environment: a picnic with delicious vegetarian food, lots of subjects and languages, room to roam, music and no dogs. I had a great time.

Because the wheel had began to spin, last night I moved the boys of my gays yoga/meditation group to go watch a movie today. Francisco was raving about this Mexican gay-themed film "El Cielo Dividido" (maybe translatable as "The Riven Heaven"), which turned out to be a great experience. The story, very creatively told in an original screenplay made of repeated scenes and everchanging patterns, rose some very interesting questions and priceless, honest answers in the all-men's group, comprised of me, three boys of the yoga group and Seán (who I just felt like inviting). Francisco later on arrived and in a total twist of plot, we wound up in McDonald's. It was really cool, because not just I had time to process and digest the strong impact the film had on me before rationalizing and interferring with my own processes in a forced way, we also got to talk in a smoke-free environment, which I am very thankful for.

At some point, all of the guys left except for me and Francisco. The conversation then got really personal and in deep tones of confession. Francisco is older, very wise and full of compassion. A real gem to have as a friend. It is very easy to imagine how good it felt to drop the burden of secrecy, isolation and suffocation that I had been carrying. It had been a long while since I last had the time to talk about the topic in question, relationships, in a very personal theme and experience. Somewhat refreshing and very enlightening in many ways. And I really think I have proof of that already because I have checked my weight just now after my homecoming shower and I lost one kilogram. Ah, to see the Light.

For the Neocelts of our times, the World Tree usually means the ultimate crossroads, where everything and body meets beyond time and all choices are made. But one major however subtle quality of the World Tree is that it is organic, it grows ever on and out. It can go in many directions and very seldom in a straight line. Better not hold and direct it, just agree to climb the branches, concentrating on the choices when it splits.