New Year Resolution '09

Light a candle, let it warm
know the way and trust the road
Bright Northern Star and rainbow
Never water, never cold

Flame and light
I lead my show
Heart's desire
Show where to go
Know and will
Next cornerstones
Northern lights
I'm never alone

Hold a candle, let it shine
A smoke sign out, I'll then send
Never may an empty sky
Fill with messing birds of prey

Flame and light
I lead my show
Heart's desire
Show where to go
Know and will
Next cornerstones
Northern lights
I'm never alone

Equity '08

On the average, I think I had a very relaxing year. Actually, I think it was the first time I have actually, absolutely relaxed ever since I can remember. Saturn's Return caught me quite by surprise by the time I was already married, legalized and secured in a more secure land. I'm currently having a really hard time legalizing my Brazilian schooling in Spain, but I'm still trying to be confident everything will turn out alright in the end. And hoping "the end" comes way before I'm 65 years old, because in a shameful country like Brazil 35 years isn't too long to wait.

I'm still not sure what I am going to do professionally with my life, but I do know what is important to me, and while I take the following few years or so to decide, I know what flora and fauna I need to nurture around me, and I know what feels good. And it's all in my hands to take or leave.

My New Year Resolution for 2008 was merely sticking to meditation and trusting the Flow. I think I did a quite good job in learning how to observe and evaluate my mind and the way it is mirrored by my environment, responding intelligently to various stimuli from many sides, and now I think I'm ready for the next natural step: taking responsibility for my vibes, my thoughts and what I am attracting and manifesting. From Water to Fire. Having placed the first Cornerstone, To Keep Silent, I work now on To Will.

My resolution for 2009 comprehends continuing with my German language studies, going back to school in Spain, starting a gay men's Tango group and travelling abroad a lot. This vacation in Rio, far away from anything musical, artistic or creative, has shown me again how important Singing is to my Fetch and my spiritual welfare, so I will probably give Classical Singing another try, but this time with a different strategy: I'll first take solfege lessons, learn to sing impeccably in tune and a tempo, and only then invest in the expression, creativity and artistic autonomy part. In Rome, do like the Romans. In other words, go with the Flow AND with your Intention.

My traditional NYR poem is still in the making. Happy New Year to all.

Back home, and back again

I'm back in Rio from a whole week in São Paulo, with no pictures, less weight and a whole lotta love.

I had decided to take this opportunity to have my first couch-surfing Couchsurfing experience, since my dear friend Simone who had offered to host me many months ago had a new huge dog at home (and I have dog-phobia). What happened then felt like a total miracle. Not only did I get warm blankets, shelter and warm showers, but I also made a great new friend in my host. I really don't believe anything can go wrong in Sampa, at all.

After I had fixed all the bank, studies and souvenirs issues, I started calling all the gangs I used to hang out with back in the days. They were all there, all happier than ever, full of light, hope and plans for the new year, and full of joy for seeing me too, after so long. Nothing to do with what I have back home in Spain.

I tried to squeeze most of them on Thursday, because on Friday many were travelling to spend Xmas with their families out of town. I had planned to spend about an hour and a half with each, so I could meet everybody, but turns out almost everybody I had arranged something with had planned a whole party: Caio&Roberta bought wine, pizza and beer, and put a mattress on their office floor, expecting to spend the whole night with me. Later on, I had booked an hour with Simone, who as a surprise had called everybody from our old day job. One of the many pieces of great news is that Thiago is moving to Madrid next year, and we'll live really close to each other. How cool is it that now I'm gonna be neighbours with my ex-co-worker?? In the Litha ritual, which many of us attended for the first time in many months, everybody told me to come back "to us".

Within a week, I obviously didn't have enough time to see everything I wanted to see in the hugest city in the Southern Hemisphere, but the basics were all covered: I had the best hot-dog on Earth (at least three times), I went to the good ol' poetry slam in Casa das Rosas, joined Claudiney Prieto's public Solstice ritual downtown, checked my favourite bookshops and had a mini-shopping spree in our Japanese district and the Chinese Market. Many people, especially the ones from the storytelling scene, I couldn't meet this time around, but this certainly means I'm indebted to visit again sometime soon. And I always pay my debts!

It is a damn shame that I didn't have my camera working to take many, many pictures, but the most essential won't fade with time, ever: friends are forever, even though they do need to be cultivated and taken care of; and we're always more loved than we're able to understand.

I love São Paulo.

Packing Up

Tomorrow I'm flying to Brazil first thing in the morning. My feelings right now are all intense and giddy, but in general pretty good. Actually, going "home" for Xmas never felt so good.

Image: FIESP's building last year. Every Xmas, Avenida Paulista is covered in Xmas lights. I love it, and I missed it. I'm really glad I'll be there to see it this year.

First Snow Experience

Today my good friend and tandem Tatjana gave me a ride to the Madrilean mountains to see actual snow for the first time, touch it, smell it, experience what it is like with all my physical senses. Snow is beautiful, snow is magical and snow is a blast, but the surreality of a whole landscape covered with a white that could be shampoo foam, salt or sand is an experience which, much like the all-sweeping tropical rainstorm followed by an aethereal rainbow, should be in everybody's memory, all over the world.

I grew up visiting the Sea very often, and I am quite disturbed by the fact that many people die everyday without having ever seen the Sea live. Resting your eyes on an infinitely faraway, blue horizon that blurs and blends with the Sky is a function of life, and I honestly feel injustice and hurt feelings when older people tell me they've never seen the Sea. Likewise, it is an injustice that my grandparents died without having ever seen the Snow.

Common to all sassy-dressed snowboarders, euphoric kids in their sleds, cool Europeans (and immigrants) having a mug of hot chocolate with picatostes in a warm, wooden room and by a window showing a white, white vista is definetely a reverence for this yearly miracle of Nature. Snow is Her way of saying "it's all under my protection now. My white Mantle will keep the land nourished, silent and ready, while the mead brews. Beneath my white Mantle lives a promise". And She ain't telling anything until Spring breaks, which is of course just as well.

Missing this important, reassuring time of the year is a shame.




Image: my first snowball. I didn't have the gloves to make a real snowman, but one day.