Monday, July 31, 2006

Seven Years Later

I decided yesterday I'm going to wear my pentacle pendant. I've had it on since then.

I started wearing a Pentacle, a tradition symbol of the Craft of the Wise back in 1999, and stopped using it in 2003. This weekend I was in Rio and intuition struck me to use it again, with the same silver necklace I used to wear.

My pentacle is silver, with lots of scraps and black stains, which makes it very ancient-looking, maybe something a battle mage has worn in the battlefield. Unlike many witches' pentacles, mine has a solid background, also made of Silver with a black antiquing to make the silver star in the foreground stand out. It's tiny, which makes it really evident.

In 2001 a boyfriend put on my pentacle. He was involved in the Teen Masonry and many other occult organizations activities, and felt dizzy when he put on my necklace back then. Good sign.

I couldn't find a photo that was similar to my pentacle online. You'll have to imagine it.

August is on the threshold. I'll be looking for a studio to record my singing soon.

Saturday, July 29, 2006

'Warm with a Mystery / I may reveal to you / In Time'

It's becoming increasingly easier to spend some time in Rio. Emotionally speaking, naturally. I arrived earlier this morning after a night bus ride, had a shower (a VERTICAL one, not the diagonal irritating shit I get in Sampa) and after eating mom's food, talked to mom about the general hardness of everyday housewife life, watched my beloved 'Riverdance' DVD, ate more mammafood and went straight to bed for a nap. I realised it's been many months, probably over a year since I last had sleep during the day. The sleep of the just. I not just needed it, but also deserved it, and that was something I just wasn't able to afford in Sampa lately. And also it had been over a year since I had last watched my favourite DVD (I own the official recording they made for the worldwide audience, the one filmed in Genova in 2002. Alas, not the original version with the Divo of Irish tap Michael Flatley, nor Anúna singing, not even my favourite piper, Davy Spillane--neither the current Boyne nor Foyle troupes! But it was a cool troupe nonetheless).

Sounds like I am assimilating the story of that show. How come we always get the right story we need to hear? In the last act of Riverdance, that narrator with a delicious gaelic accent talks about learning to live in a foreign land and discovering that any and everywhere all rivers flow to the Sea, and we are all under the same Sun and same Moon. That perked up some ears this time around that the same lines had never done before. Then the last dance number, the best performance Michael Flatley's new substitute Breandan Ní Gallaí rendered the whole show, starts with the narrator telling how the children of the Irish who moved to the New World felt Ireland 'familiar yet strange'.

Again, the question: What brings us the right story at the right time? Dan Yashinsky called It the 'Storykeeper'. What do you call it?

Thursday, July 27, 2006

To Sever the Bond

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A year with Theo

'Theos' is God in Ancient Greek. But Theo is also the name of a wise terrier character my guru's sister, Elizabeth Cameron-Evans, created to represent what she refers to as 'what happens when you try to shoehorn someone creative into corporate life'. Therefore, Theo is also me.

Yesterday morning I turned the last page of Julia Cameron's 'the Artist's Date Book', a book with 365 pages, one for each day of 'a Year of Creativity', each with one of Theo's witty cartoons illustrating one of 'the Artist's Way' principles and ideas, space to write whatever we wanted, a tick box for Morning Pages done and a a suggestion for a cool Artist Date. I had been reading (and playing with) about one page a day for the past year, and Theo proved to be the best company I could have. Theo rocks, and transformed me.

Unfortunately, I found no pic of Theo in the Internet. Too bad, I really wanted you to see him. I'm sure you'd be in love.

Anyway, is the book is highly recommended for anybody seeking to lighten up, renovate the Faith in the Path and reboost the Creative Spirit. The world definetely could use more of that.

Thursday, July 20, 2006


The blueprint of a sustained creative career, to paraphrase Julia Cameron, is surviving loss. And last night I lost a creative toy. That is, I failed in an audition for a choir.

I could just get around the superficial layer or frustration by giving reasons why I didn't pass the audition, or actually what in my lyric tenor voice made the coach insecure, but I just cannot afford this for the long haul. Justifying oneself, as I learnt the hard way, is a rundown vice.

I am fine the way I am and I trust the Great Creator I am given all the opportunities I need to blossom and achieve Creative fulfilment.

Also, I've just climbed back to the office from my very important part I did for the World Jump Day i the sidewalk.

Did you jump today??

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Before I forget

I was waiting for Angela and Laura to send me the fucking pics of me performing at PnT/SP last Sunday, but up to now, nothing. Well, I'm gonna tell what I remember of it because I don't want to forget.

(Because I am writing this on Wednesday, after two murderingly boring office days, I have lost much of my enthusiasm. Anyways, next time I'll know better and use what I have. Just doing it will do. As Julia Cameron asks, 'if you didn't have to do it perfectly, what would you do?' I'd do, period.)

Well, people loved me. Everylittle bit of it. I was introduced as 'somebody who can make you cry and laugh at once' and I really appreciated that. I'm now using interaction on my telling. The first of the three stories I chose was an Irish traditional tale called 'the Black Horse', and in it the main character, the rider of the Black Horse, would sigh everytime the Underwater Prince challenged him and I asked everybody to sigh. Then the Black Horse would go on a journey, and everybody would make the sound of galloping horse with their hands on their thighs. A happy end for the tale, with that very interesting plot twist the Ancient Celts were masters in doing, made everybody even more excited. Not bad, considering it was the very first time I told that story.

The other two tales I told were the Scottish classic Tam Lin, a hit in the São Paulo Pagan Community, and the lovely Hans Christian Andersen's 'The Pine Tree', which I planned to tell last Midwinter at the public ritual downtown, but had no time left to. This time I had much more control over the whole performance and there was enough time.

I'm getting good at it.

Also, before the performance, I went to fabulous classical singing recital my vocal coach gave me an entrance to. She performed there (now she's what I call DIVA!) and all singers were really fabulous, seemingly in the top of their vocal form. The recital was a homage to Antonio Lotti, a virtuoso tenor who abruptously passed on one or two months ago, and all singers were students and ex-students of him. Listening to them, I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to study with il Signore Lotti!

And on Saturday I went to a beautiful wedding ceremony and party deep in the woods north of São Paulo (Cantareira), and then had my last singing lesson before my coach went on her two-weeks holidays. Now I'm practicing my sight-singing at home everynight, and when she returns from the trip in August, I'll benefit much more from our classes.

If the girls send the pics of the performance, I'll definetely upload them to my photo album. Keep an eye on me! :)

World Jump Day

It's tomorrow!!

This is my generation's chance to change a fact that has been considered unchangeable for the past billions of years. Let's get together and do something VERY easy to help with the Global Warming and other environmental issues.

Check when that's gonna happen in your timezone. Here in the office we're already arranging a field trip downstairs :)

Friday, July 14, 2006


I'm very excited today. I'm on the verge of a quite promising weekend. On Sunday I'll be performing as a storyteller again, for an all pagan audience. It's a monthly event we have here in Sampa called PnT. There used to be PnT in Rio as well, and I was one of the organizers there, but since I moved to Sampa PnT is history there. In PnT, we get together in a large picnic in a park or woods, chatter, gossip, have a soiree, watch a lecture and do something cool as a group. This month, I'll be the something cool, a storyteller! :)

Since watching 'The Secret', I am inspired to refine more my skills with the Law of Attraction, and I started reading Deepak Chopra's 'the Way of the Wizard', which has twenty lessons on groundbreaking Metaphysics which include Conscious Creation, a/k/a using the Law of Attraction to deliberately manifest the experiences and circumstances you want. It's the second time I read this book, and I've taken lesson four this morning. I already feel SO GOOD -- and THAT is what matters regarding 'the Secret'!

Last night, a major achievement as a student of classical singing: I sight-sang two songs, the theme from 'Starlight Express', by Andrew Lloyd Weber and the Irish traditional 'She Moved Through the Fair'. All by myself, no help from my teacher or anybody else. I still need the aid of my keyboard, but for somebody diagnosed as a 'tone-deaf' person just seven months ago, that's quite a FEAT!! And there's more to come.

And last month, I started a strict financial planning system which has helped me save some pretty good money. That's fabulous because I'm gonna need all money I can for Madrid next year.

The best, though, is yet to come.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

There goes my hope of being a slick old fag when I'm 60...

Says Rob Brezsny this week for us Pisceans:

'The dance called the waltz is regarded as schmaltzy, but it was originally the punk music of its era. After its first appearance in England in 1816, an editorial in The Times called it obscene, a dance worthy only of prostitutes, because of its "voluptuous intertwining of the limbs and close compressure on the bodies." Religious authorities in Europe thought it was vulgar and sinful. My prediction is that you're currently entertaining a new trend that will have a history not unlike that of the waltz. It may cause a ruckus in the beginning, but will eventually become the pinnacle of normalcy.'

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

My Tree Self

***You Are A Lime Tree***

You are intelligent, hard working, and innately successful.
You try to change what you can in life - and you accept what you can't change.
Tough on the outside, you are actually soft and relenting.
Jealous at times, you are extremely loyal and giving to those you love.
You have many talents, but you don't have enough time to use them.

This Lime-Tree Bower my Prison, by S. T. Coleridge

Well, they are gone, and here must I remain,
This lime-tree bower my prison ! I have lost
Beauties and feelings, such as would have been
Most sweet to my remembrance even when age
Had dimm'd mine eyes to blindness ! They, meanwhile,
Friends, whom I never more may meet again,
On springy heath, along the hill-top edge,
Wander in gladness, and wind down, perchance,
To that still roaring dell, of which I told ;
The roaring dell, o'erwooded, narrow, deep,
And only speckled by the mid-day sun ;
Where its slim trunk the ash from rock to rock
Flings arching like a bridge ;--that branchless ash,
Unsunn'd and damp, whose few poor yellow leaves
Ne'er tremble in the gale, yet tremble still,
Fann'd by the water-fall ! and there my friends
Behold the dark green file of long lank weeds,
That all at once (a most fantastic sight !)
Still nod and drip beneath the dripping edge
Of the blue clay-stone.

Now, my friends emerge
Beneath the wide wide Heaven--and view again
The many-steepled tract magnificent
Of hilly fields and meadows, and the sea,
With some fair bark, perhaps, whose sails light up
The slip of smooth clear blue betwixt two Isles
Of purple shadow ! Yes ! they wander on
In gladness all ; but thou, methinks, most glad,
My gentle-hearted Charles ! for thou hast pined
And hunger'd after Nature, many a year,
In the great City pent, winning thy way
With sad yet patient soul, through evil and pain
And strange calamity ! Ah ! slowly sink
Behind the western ridge, thou glorious Sun !
Shine in the slant beams of the sinking orb,
Ye purple heath-flowers ! richlier burn, ye clouds !
Live in the yellow light, ye distant groves !
And kindle, thou blue Ocean ! So my friend
Struck with deep joy may stand, as I have stood,
Silent with swimming sense ; yea, gazing round
On the wide landscape, gaze till all doth seem
Less gross than bodily ; and of such hues
As veil the Almighty Spirit, when yet he makes
Spirits perceive his presence.
A delight
Comes sudden on my heart, and I am glad
As I myself were there ! Nor in this bower,
This little lime-tree bower, have I not mark'd
Much that has sooth'd me. Pale beneath the blaze
Hung the transparent foliage ; and I watch'd
Some broad and sunny leaf, and lov'd to see
The shadow of the leaf and stem above
Dappling its sunshine ! And that walnut-tree
Was richly ting'd, and a deep radiance lay
Full on the ancient ivy, which usurps
Those fronting elms, and now, with blackest mass
Makes their dark branches gleam a lighter hue
Through the late twilight : and though now the bat
Wheels silent by, and not a swallow twitters,
Yet still the solitary humble-bee
Sings in the bean-flower ! Henceforth I shall know
That Nature ne'er deserts the wise and pure ;
No plot so narrow, be but Nature there,
No waste so vacant, but may well employ
Each faculty of sense, and keep the heart
Awake to Love and Beauty ! and sometimes
'Tis well to be bereft of promis'd good,
That we may lift the soul, and contemplate
With lively joy the joys we cannot share.
My gentle-hearted Charles ! when the last rook
Beat its straight path across the dusky air
Homewards, I blest it ! deeming its black wing
(Now a dim speck, now vanishing in light)
Had cross'd the mighty Orb's dilated glory,
While thou stood'st gazing ; or, when all was still,
Flew creeking o'er thy head, and had a charm
For thee, my gentle-hearted Charles, to whom
No sound is dissonant which tells of Life.

What's Your Celtic Horoscope?

Monday, July 10, 2006

Experiencing Odissi

Last Friday night I tried an Indian Dance class at SESC. Just awesome.

Even though Indian Dance (especially the variety called 'Odissi', the one I tried) is naturally very difficult to anyone raised in Latin America, due to the total lack of movement with the hips and lots of focus on hands, head and eyes, I did VERY well. I managed to follow about 60-70% of the steps and moves. Considering it was my first dance lesson EVER, I did VERY well.

The teacher told me after the class that I have 'a way' for Odissi, and that she could feel that I was enjoying it 'inside'. I told her I had never taken a dance class in my life, and I usually did pretty bad in dancing in public, and she said that this was good, because I was free from vices. I could hear what she was saying because in Brazil most 'traditional' dances use hip swings. Something I always sucked at.

I don't know if I'll continue on the Odissi lessons. If I do, I'll have to give up on the fiddle--which I would have already done if I didn't have invested money in purchasing my fiddle last month (failing to pass for the intermediate group this term was a major demotivation for me). I don't have time or money (or stamina) for both it and Odissi.


Wednesday, July 05, 2006

SuperVal Says

“If you are not getting any support at all for what you're doing, and you have examined your motives and done Kala on it, and still feel that this is your path, be brave and realize that sometimes you won't get any outer confirmation at all during your lifetime. That's not important. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain. It's not about you, it's about the work.” (Valerie Walker, ‘Thirteen Magical Secrets About the Practice of Feri’)

For some years now, she has been a reference for me. Probably, the closest thing I have to a spiritual role model. Wise, humble, fun and willing to share. Every proof of spiritual leadership, magical mastery and religious bliss is featured in her, plus authentic British Humour.

Check her website:

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The Secret, Again

Oh, I finally did it, folks! I watched the whole 'the Secret' feature, five to ten minutes a day. In the end of the film, it gets even cooler, because I becomes what a film should actually be about: photography, images, movement, music and sensations.

The link I had posted here on my blog last month was removed from Google before I could watch it the first time, but I managed to find another link to watch it online, thanks to Yahoogroups ;)

I'm not publishing the link here because I fear Google will remove it again in case they're aware the film is online, but if personal friends want it, just send me a private message, and I'll gladly share. I want the video to stay online because we people who don't live in the US and Canada aren't able to watch the DVD in our Region Code. Latin America has the same code as Oceania, Code 4, and the website, (highly recommended, full of FREE conscious creation treats!) states clearly that the film is 'temporary unavailable to that Continent. And Europe, where I'm moving to next year, isn't Code 1 either. As I've told a couple of my friends, it's a downright shame that the more technology we have to connect us, the more ways we devise to bring us apart.

Anyways, those who can buy AND WATCH the DVD are encouraged to do so! I will as soon as it is available in either Code 2 or 4.

Meanwhile, we have the website, full of great stuff, especially stories and two eBooks: . Recommended.

Monday, July 03, 2006

How Stars are Made

Sounds like I'm getting big.

Last night I went wandering downtown seemingly for no special reason, and I met two witch-friends somewhere along Avenida Paulista. One of them was at the performance I gave at Solstice, and with a wide smile she said I told the story she needed to hear on that occasion (Rhiannon's). The other witch asked, 'so you were the storyteller at Yule?', and it's not hard to imagine I was very proud to say 'Yeah, it was me!' The word was spreading to my favour!

The one who watched me congratulated me for my performance and told her companion I did very well. And then two invitations came, first to perform at EAB (Encontro Anual de Bruxos--the same event that three years ago brought Macha Nightmare to Sampa) by the end of this month, which I had to decline due to the International Storytelling Symposium, which will happen in my native Rio on the same weekend. Then, the one who heard-say about my performance told me she's putting a pagan soiree together, and I'll perform there. SO COOL.

Also, there's the performance I have booked for this month's PnT, a monthly pagan get-together in Nature with picnic, a lecture and other activities, on 16th. I used to organize the carioca PnT when I lived in Rio.

Indeed, with Midwinter a working artist was born!