Sunday, July 20, 2008

Tuning Fork

I don't know if everybody has a regular check-in with grounding and vibe-shifting tools and tricks, but I know everybody should. For me, Reiki, Triple Soul work, Morning Pages and incubatory sleep do the trick pretty well, but absolutely nothing in this world works better than a powerful story. And ever since I began taking Wonderstock in my blog, a few golden oldies have become very evident to me.

Today I went to Filmoteca Española with my friends from the therapy group to watch "Brokeback Mountain" for the fourth time in the movie theatre. Old readers of my blog have seen how this same story, whether the original tale written by Annie Proulx for The New Yorker, or Ang Lee's tremendously powerful rendition of the tale for the silver screen, changed gears, grounds and grasps in central directives of my life, but it is just amazing how the same story can disclose new vistas and open up greater levels of understanding everytime it is well told to you.

This time what woke me up wasn't the just-say-yes-and-leap part that broke my heart three years ago when I was on the verge of leaving my whole life behind and stepping into the unknown. This afternoon, I became self-conscious in relating to a significant other, how to set priorities for two, and how to just treasure the simple pleasure of having a good man (or a good toy) to spend quality time with. To create a solid bond with that which you long for. How many times in the past twenty years have you spent quality time with someone or something that is important to you? I'm thrilled to have it shoven in my face in a painful way. Privilege.

Easier said than done, I know, when you have fear all around you, when you are used to it, so used to fear that you attract more fearful people and build a fortress of fear around, so that love cannot cross the icy walls and break you free. A person like Ennis is haunted by a programming that won't let him live. So do we. It's our mission and quest to break that chain.

Like a fiddle or a choir director, people need tuning forks to make sure they keep playing on the desired pitch. Throughout my adult life, "Brokeback Mountain" has been the a constant, reliable one.

Gods save Annie Proulx, Ang Lee and the hot Ledger/Gyllenhaal couple.


Diane said...

Yes... Food for Thought, but...
... this:
"...just treasure the simple pleasure of having a good man (or a good toy) to spend quality time with...." gives me a double-take. The admonition is perfectly sound (and under-appreciated), but the "good toy" aside sort of messes with it for me. Humor me here....

Is it the same... the ability to treasure a good man (or woman) vs. the ability to treasure a good toy. Is considering your mate a toy (or equating the time you spend with him or the attitude toward, or the amount of attention given to... with a toy) "treasuring" that person?

I'll explain myself later on if I have to... I probably don't. I'm sure you'll totally see through my questions.

Awen said...

Different people want long for different thing, and I'm so sorry most Western languages like English became so unnecessarily politically-loaded. But the principle I meant, yes, is the same.