Sunday, May 16, 2010

Function of Time #1: Moment

You see, I've been away for too long now, but I am very much still fascinated by the Time Element, and still learning from it. Right now, my favourite function of Time is Momentum. You know, this wave I've been missing time and time again in my Writing: Spring Equinox, Beltane, the day I applied for my Spanish citizenship, my 30 birthday. Not necessarily in this order, and definetely not only these.

Today I watched the power of Moment in human interactions and desires. My keen perception is something that takes me beyond gratitude these days. I don't know if I have anything else as valuable to me. The story happens on what I consider the biggest priviledge of my life in Spain, my gay men's yoga and meditation group. Indeed, the vast majority and almost totality of regulars is gay males, and on some days something (if not the Moon itself, probably a conspiracy of the Stars) decides that it's Time for heat. And from the beginning of the session on, there is a sharp scent of rutting stag in the air, filling the room throughout nevertheless perfect and very rewarding Yoga, meditation session, Heart Circle and other zen practices for three long hours. Then comes dinner as a group in a vegetarian restaurant.

Today was one of these special days. Fortunately, coinciding with my husband being out of town for the whole weekend. Before long, it was clear to everybody who would stay with who by the time dinner was over--some of them left in pairs immediately after we left the Yoga center. My favourite Tantra partner was all affection and physical intimacy with another friend. Some others avoided the swoosh by fleeing home. I was paired by chance with an old flirt, who happened to be in a bad moment: fresh split-up, resentment against his ex, high expectations, excessive focus on his emotional wounds, lack of trust in men in general.

I have this theory that Mr. Right is definetely not the right guy, but the right moment. My guy for tonight was in the wrong one. And as the others all came home accompanied, I came all by myself. He did, too.

I just didn't want to miss another moment and not post this here. I still hope I may be back to blogging.